Perhaps you are a little like me, and when it comes to confrontation

you either shrink back or get angry and say to yourself, Lord why don't you change that person so they are good to me.

I had such an experience when there had been an argument between my wife and me.  I can't even tell you what the argument was about.  I remember walking down to the first floor level, and slamming my fist against the wall and saying Lord, why can't you change her so she is good to me and thinks what I think.

I felt a strange tap on the top of my head, and heard let's start with you.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2063%3A3-5&version=NKJV